In the last two lessons you have been starting to write your descriptions of a scary setting or location and something that you find there.
1) Comment on this post with either your description of the scary setting/location OR the thing you found there.
2) Comment or reply on a post by one of your classmates' pieces of writing with something you liked about it and why. (Can you refer to any of the techniques they have used?)
Due: Monday 9th December 2013
Good Luck, I look forward to reading them.
(Watch out for a post and description from me)
Mr Brown
Alices hair dripps wet and her hands shudder as they brush forward and back. Her night gawn droops over her feet and her slippers shuffle like a grave yard as if skeletons are urupting out of the ground.
ReplyDeleteshivers run up her spine like creatures as they scury out of there cold damp cages.
i hope this is ok, i just wrote down one of my paragraphs but half of it.. if that makes sense....
oops sorry i forgot to put my name! its leena by the way.
DeletexD Hey Leena! I love your piece! It's soooo creative and awesome!
DeleteMy favourite bit is: 'shivers run up her spine like creatures as they scury out of there cold damp cages'.
Anton ♥
Hay Leena I love your writing it really made me scared when I brushed my teeth!
DeleteCatie!!
your descriptive laugage is really good i like 'her hands shudderd'
DeleteSerena x
HIYA!!! Anton here! ♥
ReplyDeleteShe creeped into the fearful forest,overcoming her greatest worry. Leaves crunched under her gentle footstep while she felt a rush of cold air. It was like she had stepped into Antartic climate. The darkwas forming nightmares and she thought she saw a bloody body. Wait. It was real. The actually was a body. Was it alive? Unconcious? Maybe even dead? Lightly, she padded over to the intruiging figure. Kneeling down, she unwrapped a blood stained sheet that was partly covering the body. After solving the puzzle that the person was a man, the girl inspected the face with curiosity. A ghastly sight lay there, motionless, next to an intimidating tree. Marks, rashes, gashes, all dug into the strangers skin. It appeared that he had been brutally attacked by animal. His face gazed blankly into the distance and a glint of fear was still shining inhis eyes. This was the sight of death. A bloody, scarred, dead man. He lay lifeless while the girl let out an ear piercing scream. The entire population of the trees were listening.
Hope anyone who reads it likes it. lol ♥
hey anton! i like your description in your writting, its soo scaryyy...i love the name of the 'fearful forest from leena
Deletethat was sooo good . lily x
Deleteoh my god anton that is so good and so scary I think the best thing is the name the fearful forest by the way its lucy
DeleteI like the similes you have used well done Millie.
DeleteWOW!!! I really like your paragraph. I think you have used good simlies and great 'SCARY' descriptive words.
DeleteImpressive Anton, you had my heart rate rising their for a minute!!
DeleteThe sentence that really captured me was this one "inspected the face with curiosity" because it tells me your characters facial expression and the emotion
.
Lol, thank you! ♥♥
DeleteThat is amazing it is so spooioooky
DeleteThe house was old. Rubbish and blood everywhere. The stairs as you entred the house were a death trap. A Japanese house where everything went wrong.
ReplyDeleteThe farther was posesed so he killed his wife, son and cat.
The wife is still alive and she is joined by her son as the murder everyone who enters the house.
The sun shines and the sky cries but it dosen't matter because the is always there.
As you walked up the staies you hered water drip and the floor creak.
The bedroom is dangerous. The boy as you adventure around the decreped rooms.
The bathroom has blood dripping from the tub like red wine spilt on a table.
The bedrooma and bathroom was also the death trap, she'll kill you untill your spirit is free and you never come out!
The house is enpty again and then when someone else comes in it will start all over again... YOUR DEAD!!!
By Freyja Parsons-Davies
What I wrote was based on a film called THE GRUDGE and it is a horror film.
Hope you liked it. :)
I like your story because it is really imaginative. I like the bit were it says ' The bathroom had blood dripping from the tub like red wine spilt on a table. This is because it gives you an impression that the blood was smothered everywhere.
DeleteI really love that Freyja! It sounds so cool and its a really good thing to picture! The sky cries sounds awesome too!
DeleteAnton :)
Seventen year old boys,hang around in threating gangs.You don't know what their carrying,you don't know what there thinking,or planning.They all look to young to be smoking.I carry on walking.
ReplyDeleteA dark alleyway smells like urine,a black cat with pircing yellow eyes,stands in the middle of the alleyway.Its hissing.The cat doesn't scare me,its that im in centrle london the bussyest town in england.Yet im all alone.Cans of beer are around the outskirts of the alleyway,someone smashed a glass bottle,all the pieces are scattered around,there sharp edges almost garding the alleyway.I start to walk down the alleyway.My stomache tenses...
Hope thats enough ...just to let you know london and alleyways are scary ,so i had to do both. lily:)
That is so good Lily! I can really imagine it!! Its great!
DeleteAnton :)
the scene is set in my cousins house because they have a cat called max and when I was like five my sister made up this tale and it was called the bogey man and it still haunts me
ReplyDeletelucy!!!
Walking slowly just in case, even though I need to get out! As i shuffle forward in terror... I see a very angry staffie chained up to the wall growling at me. Just next to it a huge knife oozing in blood. I turned round and started running out of the alley way not thinking about what has happened.Suddenly something got in may way.A man.He had big evil eyes staring at me.What will happen next?
ReplyDeleteHope this is enough.
this is the second of my paragraphs.
Millie
That is soo good Millie! And the word oozing makes it really cool! i love that word! lol
DeleteAnton :)
That is really good Millie!! I love how you have put 'he had big evil eyes staring at me'. it is also very dramatic and the rhetorical question at the end makes me want to read on!
DeleteABIDA!!!!!!!!!! :D
Lilly you had great description it put the image in my head. Alleyways are really freaky!
ReplyDeleteMine is just a paragraph of it because I did a lot...
I looked down and I was knee-high I what I thought must have been wine or juice. I was famished and my mouth was as wet as the saharah desert. I know if I didn't drink something soon I would faint, because I was already feeling light headed. I drank the mysterious liquid and found it was salty and bitter. I spat it out realising I was drinking blood and that it was now up to my waist. The taste of the dark blood was lingering in my mouth. The walls were closing in and the blood was getting higher I would soon down to make it worse something was in the water I with me...
Wow! Ari that is sooo cool! I love that so much! I'd want to read the rest if it was a book!
DeleteAnton :)
BY PATIENCE... HOPE U LIKE IT !!!
ReplyDeleteIn that moment, a disoriented screeching soul escalates from a rectangular stacked brick of pages: With large, menacing, ice cold eyes.Hovering above the disfigured anatomy a spiky iron HALO, stealing that heart of those who dared to make contact...Buried deep within its rotting corpse, a blinding luminous light ascends!
That is soo good Patience!! I can really imagine it in my head! Its really creative too!
DeleteAnton :)
I was all alone. I didn't understand why I was here in the first place. Dead bodies surrounded me. My heart had turned into ice. Grey clouds and heavy rain. I started to make my way up to my nans grave, my heartbeat getting faster. All this time I wondered how uncomfortable all these dead were with no fresh air when, suddenly, I had a sharp pain in my leg. I only had to look once to find out what had happened. Blood was everywhere.
ReplyDeleteWow! Amreen! That is soo good! I love it! The short sentences make it really effective too!
DeleteAnton :)
Amreen my favourite part is where you say my heart turned to ice i also like your short sentences they are very effective.
Deletewell done!!!!!!
Abbey :) ;)
The trees' long tenacious fingers dangling down like an old woman's old and frail fingers reaching out gripping anything passing in its way. They stood there like giants, big and bold glaring with their dark eyes. Wolves' deep howling like a moan of a lost soul.The corrupt smell of the decayed wood smelt gruesome.Stagnant water bubbling up to the surface and exploding out revolting gases. The ghastly cawing of the crows was piercing. The dark was creeping in with a mischievous smile.
ReplyDeletePalak
WOW! I like the language you've used and your similies and metaphors! The short sentences are great for impact. You should be an author!
DeleteLeonie
The house was abandoned with ancient armour rusting to pieces. A dead body was on the floor his legs folded in a horrendous way, with his arms bent crushing his bones, legs snapped under his body and his eyes goggling out like a chameleon. His face was stretched like a oblong with his teeth bared as if he was smiling evilly. In every corner there was a cobweb with massive spiders sucking blood out of their prey. The photo winked and a grinning clown folded his five fingers to four fingers. Ghosts glided around through doors and walls like transparent clear smoke. An old lady jumped out with a blood curling laugh echoing everywhere. The atmosphere was moist as sweat slithered everywhere creating dampness as water dripped onto the rotted wooden floorboards with woodlice crawling underneath them.
ReplyDeleteHope you enjoy it!!!!! ABIDA.R-7F
your gonna give me a nightmare!!!!!!!(jokes)REALLY GOOD ADJECTIVES AND SIMILES!I CREATED A REALLY GOOD IMAGE IN MY HEAD !!!!WELL DONE:)
DeleteI'm surrounded, surrounded by trees, taunting me. It's like their watching me and crowding round me, spreading whispers around me. I could see a creak of moonlight piercing through the gaps of the trees, lighting up an area of the ground. As I investigate it i see a body, a dead body. I could feel a shiver running down my spinal cord. I knew I wasn't alone!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteANNA
Anna that s really good. it painted a picture in my head and the last sentence builds impact. it makes me think what will happen next.
DeleteMollie Haines
There was a abandoned body lay in a pool of black blood. It was a child! she was obviously dead. She wore shaggy torn clothes all gashed in emerald poison. The murder was no mistake. Sharp teeth surrounded her as if they were guarding her. Her face ripped in half sharply leaving her flesh pouring out. There were no legs to be seen all that was left of her legs was one tiny baby toe. Her heart was ripped out of her body then ripped into pieces leaving her no chance to live. It was as if every single cell that belonged to her had been demolised by flickering orange flames that were roaring as if they were never going to stop. Her twisted arms were shaped in to a spiral as the bugs started to invade.
ReplyDeletewow!!!!!!!!!!! that amazing
DeleteAnton
Wow Emma! That is sooo cool!! I don't know who the comment above was, but it defo wasn't me! lol
DeleteAnton :)
me and my brother walk outside we go over to a van covered in what looks like sweets, we walk in. suddenly the sweets disappear and a man dressed in black is standing in front of us. why is he holding a stick I wonder. " I am taking you" he muttered " whether you like it or not. " He takes us like a hawk takes its pray.
ReplyDeleteMollie Haines
P.S. this is not finished
That's well good Mollie!!!! I love the simile at that end!
DeleteAnton :)
Mollie, I think yours is very good, I like the last sentence because its short and you are referring to something.
ReplyDeletemy thing:
A simple girly room, a dark, silent, simple little room. It's unnaturalness disturbs everyone in sight...especially in the night. The window, the blinds , the reflecting mirror. The blind creaks down, hoping Golum wouldn't slowly but slightly climb up to my misty window, that I can just about see the trees sway from side to side in the distance, terrified that they will fall onto my house and then climb into my room, with his stick like legs, get out a bag ready to take me away. I look away, and turn back. Where has he gone? Hopefully he will never come back again...but he does every single night but one day he will take me away from my beloved family, I know it.
By Olivia Thompson
P.S Sorry it's sooo long
I just realised you are only suppose to do a paragraph, sorry...oh well
DeleteOlivia
The trees grab your shoulder like a thousand hands ripping your clothes harshly as you dodge between the spooky, intertwining trees as fast as you can. Your hart is racing as fast as a drum beating loudly against your chest. The rain spits down on you like knives piercing your skin in every place and the wind whips your face as it lashes past you. Ominous voices and dark whispers fill the air around you; shadows shift and trees loom over you giving the impression that your trapped. Buckets of darkness pour over you as the dead of night over comes every glimpse of light in the forest. Your alone as you look back in anticipation to see if you are being followed! BANG! A gun shot noise is made that sends shivers up your spine and fills the whole forest with its booming sound. Your no longer alone!
ReplyDeleteCatie 7f
It is extremely scary, pitch black. theres noises whistling, creeks,footsteps not knowing if its the wind or in the gigantic brick framed house. The stairs seaming to get longer like a never ending stair case. wondering whats upstairs. maybe theres a break-in or someone is out to get her.
ReplyDeleteabbey fall
No one knows where you are, lost. Dark, hidden and secritive . Mad scientists doing bone rattiling experiments. What could he do next? Convicts hidding , ready to attack. No one knows what they are thinking, no one knows what they will do next. Evil villans planning unforgivable plans. Cobweb coverd corners. Blood splatterd doors. The stench of rotting flesh penatrates the air.
ReplyDeleteSerena Jones
Prison
ReplyDeleteI walk in and emmidiatly i feel the misrabel atmospher. Its dark and damp.The floors are coverd in a mat of dust and dirt.I can see the ice cold bars being grasped by the dry filthy hands of demented criminals. All i can hear is the ear peasing sounds of prisinors sobbing and screaching . The smell of rot and mould is creeping into my nose
I love sereanas language by Elish
The derelict house loomed over the path below. The wind screamed as it passed through the house. Gates hanging off of one hinge were ready to fall off. There seemed to be a whispering coming from the front room. The windows were depressed, weather damaged and old. The rain battered the front door wanting to be let inside. Even though Matt knew there was something wrong with this place, he stayed still. He was a sitting duck waiting to be swallowed by the ever lasting darkness.
ReplyDeleteLeonie.
i can't find the next home work
ReplyDelete